I am not about “pulling rank.” I am not about experiencing something shitty and then feeling like it’s my job as an older kid to make sure the new kids go through stuff just as shitty as I did. Perhaps it was my upbringing (I do have 2 amazing parents who I am so lucky to have been raised by), but I really do subscribe to the “treat others the way you want to be treated” philosophy. It would be nice if many kids in today’s scene would follow that philosophy as well. I deserve your respect, just as you deserve mine. It becomes increasingly difficult for me to understand why so many have problems grasping this concept. Let the rant begin.

What is so scary to out of town kids and bands to tell me the truth when they want to come to Chicago? I get requests for bands from all over the country and sometimes the world. Bands want to come here and play, and 9 times out of 10, no one knows who the hell they are. Sometimes the band is good. Often times the band is not good. This doesn’t matter to me at all. If you are nice, treat me with respect, and don’t sing about Nazis or beating up girls, I’ll give you a show. But please, please, don’t insult me by lying to me to get the show. I’m getting too old for that. Every band that wants to come here tries to entice me to do the show by offering my band a show in their town, or another band I work with a show in their town. I believe this is called “trading” shows. However, a trade is not a trade when it comes time to cash in on that promise from said out of town band, and they just drop the ball totally. They don’t even make an effort to make do on the promise that was, at this point, an obvious lie to get a show for their likely very crappy band. I have much more respect for bands that tell me “well I don’t do shows, but I can try to look around and help you out.” Wow. HONESTY! Now that is awesome. Hey maybe this person can help me, maybe they can’t. But I haven’t been assured of something that isn’t certain, therefore I am not being lied to. Am I likely to help their band out? You bet your dick/vag I am. Moreso than I would help out a band that guaranteed me a show. Why? Because they are honest, and honest people make good bands. 9 out of the 10 bands that promise me a show in their town will never come through with the request. So maybe I am just giving all you bands out there a little advice. First of all, don’t tour on 1 shitty recorded demo for anything longer than 3 days because if you do, you are a moron. Second of all, don’t lie to promoters. We are people fighting to keep this scene alive, just like you (supposedly). So don’t lie to us. Because it just makes you look like more of a fool than your band already does by the quality of the demo you are trying to tour on.

I have another question. What is with the lack of respect in hardcore these days? Enjoy life, will ya? I get the strangest and stupidest complaints from kids at shows. People complaining because the show is $9 instead of $8. People complaining because there are no ins and outs because they want to put their parentally-funded new merch purchases in the car. People complaining because (this one is my favorite) the “no ins and outs” sign on the door is not big enough and it is unfair to not allow kids ins and outs when the sign is not big enough to see. That one literally made me laugh and I think I felt a little wetness in my shorts….but I stopped the dribble before it turned into me full-on pissing my pants. I want to say to these people loud and clear: If you do not like the way I do shows, please do your own. I would really like you to, because I want to come to your shows and complain about every little thing that means nothing in the grand scheme of things. I think sometimes that people don’t understand how hard it is to put shows together. They don’t realize how much of my own money I risk every time I do a show. And kids are worried about a $1 increase in price when there are 5 touring bands on the bill that need to be given enough money to get to their next show. I’ll tell you what, if you are worried about $1 either way, then you probably have more important things that you should be spending your money on than hardcore.

It never ceases to amaze me. Who do I get mad at? Should I be pissed at myself for continuing to put up with it? Pissed at kids for continuing to disrespect me and each other? Both? Neither?

Lately I question it more and more. Why do I do this? Why do I put up with the frustration and bullshit that goes with doing shows? I give so much of my life to this scene and sometimes I hate myself for it. Sometimes I think about how much less shit I would have to stomach if I turned my back and walked away, and just went back to strictly metal. After all, it’s metal that, musically, I enjoy more anyways. It was the other things that the hardcore scene had, that metal didn’t have, that drew me to it. People wanting to help each other. People believing in each other. The lack of a need to frighten every new kid that walks in the door and is excited about something different and interesting. So many of those things seem to be dwindling at this time. I saw Deicide the other night and saw more smiles and happiness than I have seen in a long time at a hardcore show. Seriously. Deicide! I try to stay positive about the whole thing. I know everything goes in cycles. Hopefully we’ll cycle back to bigger and better things again soon. For the moment, I’ve convinced myself to stick around and see how everything turns out. The reasons behind that are the people that I know have their hearts in the right place in this town. There are plenty of us, and we need to listen to Paul Stanley and shout it out loud more often. Every time I think about giving up on this, I remember why I do it. I like bringing cool things to people. I like spreading cool shit around and being the one responsible for some young kid hearing a band she or he loves for the first time and being totally inspired by it. I myself am inspired by the kids that do care about the scene, the people that do have love in their hearts, the people that do really want to help. And to those who show disrespect, hatred, and anger on a seemingly ever-increasing basis, it will take much more than you are able to dish out to extinguish the positive spirit that many of us have engrained in us and will never give up. We all go through our ups and downs, and maybe I won’t be doing shows forever. Maybe I won’t be doing shows next year. But I will always be involved in hardcore because I love it, and I can’t bear to see it pass me by. To those who inspire me both positively and negatively, thank you. I’ll always be here, whether you see me or not.

- Shane

Crushdemoniac@aol.com