The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – Lembo Lake, NY – Pi Alpha Nu 1991 or 1992 (who fucking knows!)

RealiD…

The annual Pi Alpha Nu Toga Party was always a major event at SUNY New Paltz. Hundreds of kegs and many bands like Murphys Law, the Bosstones, Thorzine, and the Functional Idiots. Pi Alpha Nu was (and I would guess still is) the fraternity of crazy dudes, burn outs and metal heads, supposedly. I found them all pretty normal, but the stereotype plus the fact they were unrecognized by the university as a legitimate fraternity, allowed them to keep the rep inflated and the antics high. Many of the guys I did party with were members of Pi Alpha Nu and their parties were fun. Then again a keg is fun no matter who went and got it.

Their claim to fame, from a hardcore standpoint, was that Doug E. Beans, who played drums for Murphy’s Law was a member. Murphy’s Law had played a bunch of their parties over the years. I remember one great one in the rain and mud behind the White House. Another highlight would be the S.O.D. song Pi Alpha Nu, which goes into detail about the parties and some of the bars in New Paltz, like P&G’s, otherwise known as Pigs, which you’ll be reading about later

The fact that I can’t remember whether the show/party I am referring to in this story is the one in the spring of 1991 or 1992 proves there was real damage done and long-term effects I have probably not even begun to enjoy. Anyway. I think it was the later as I was partying like it was 1999 or at least my last party, in this body.

I remember obtaining a small sheet of acid for the event and I remember Pi Alpha Nu bragging about how many kegs they would have on hand. I also remember dropping a hit early in the day and then another half on the way down to Lembo Lake. Upon arrival I remember downing beers; they had the Miller trucks out there. This party was officially STARTED!

My ex-girlfriend (wait if Ananda was an ex at that point, maybe it was 1991) Ananda had some mushrooms. Upon bumping into each other and having some fun, and a couple more drinks, we went into a port-a-potty and traded some of her mushrooms for some of my acid. I devoured my mushrooms right there as I was convinced that in addition to the hit and a half of acid I was already on and the flowing Miller beer out of the sides of trucks, I needed something to really get going. How about a bag of shrooms?

So now there were a couple hundred kids at Lembo Lake tearing it up. This was a great day and one of the days that we, like our parents, would consider college the best years of our life…because of this very glorious day.

I remember being really excited to see the Bosstones, who always rocked these parties with lots of beer out in the sun. I couldn’t wait to dance a bit and after Thorzine you would have been excited for the Bosstones too.

What was great about these line-ups was that you had a few bands in the otherwise mostly palatable, college mix of bands that had some Hardcore to them and it gave one a chance to dance and show these idiots circling up, what was up.

The stage was a high concrete block with a roof on it. It was a covered block next to the lake for Picnic tables, it just happened to double as a stage real well. The dirt area in front of the stage dropped off and away from the stage and bands. Next to the stage the band was maybe 6 feet high; 10 feet back from the stage they were like 12 feet high. You get it. With all the beer and movement and mayhem the dirt area in front of the stage was a bit muddy. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones finally took to the concrete slab.

In hearing some music start, I made my way behind the band. In all my tripped out drunken, clear-headed decision making, I mapped my course and upon a dance part that moved me, I ran for the circle in the mud. I planted with my left and sprang off a wedge at the edge of the stage for an extra 2 feet of vertical. In the air I began to flip, as I like to come down that way off the stage, with my back going first and landing on the crowd. After what seemed like minutes in the air, I hit the ground really hard. There was no give or sympathy in it. Nor was there any breath left in me. The term I’m referring to is known as “getting the wind knocked out of you.” I landed on my back and neck.

Apparently many minutes went by and I came to with my friend Todd holding my tongue out of my mouth. The whole scene looked bleached out like an Oliver Stone film rendition of what an acid trip would look like. There was an ambulance on my left, some EMT folks around me and like I said, Todd was holding my tongue so I wouldn’t choke on it. Apparently he had tried to roll my eyes back out of my skull in the minutes I wasn’t with you all.

Dominicanedge…

I was also party to some of the activities of that “very glorious day.” Here is a little vision of where I was…

So, I proceed to walk on to the grounds of Lembo Lake. By this time everything was muddy and nasty from all of the dropped brews. Which reminded me of how friggin thirsty I was. I make my way to the beer trucks to hook up with a fat cup of Miller. This beautiful Spring day was the perfect environment for downing several cold ones. By the 5th brew it was time for The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I had never seen them and was very excited to check them out. By this time the multiple beers and that blunt of chronic was beginning to take its toll. Just what I needed to loosen up. Holy shit there’s my boy Dave. It was cool to see him. It also looks as if various substances were taking a hold of him. But, who was I to talk. I was a fucking trainwreck.

We’ve been known to tear it up on the dance floor, so I was excited to floor some of these steak-necks. The Bosstones jump on and the place turns into a fucking dust cloud. We’re going off. They proceed to jump into my favorite song and I go for mine and do a dope front tuck on top of the crowd. Nice! Considering the circumstances it was definitely a great showing. I see Dave go for his. Dave had a knack for engaging, in what I like to call, The John Joseph. He goes for it except there was no one there to catch him. SMACK! Buzzkill at it’s finest. The show stops and everyone proceeds to surround Dave as his eyes roll to the back of his head and he tries to swallow his tongue.

Whew! The ambulance arrives and the crowd makes way. I think to myself that he’s in safe hands and I can proceed to rip shit up for the Bosstones. After 1 song my friends decide that they want to see what hospital Dave was in so we could make sure he was alright. At this point I agreed with there thinking and decided to join in the quest. Two things are happening now that throw a wrench into this idea. First, no one knows what hospital the ambulance took him to. Second, everyone is completely shit-faced.

One thing led to another and I decide to play hero boy and drive. Two problems here. Firstly, I don’t have a license. Second, I’m fucking shit-faced. But, I guess at the time I must have been the shining light by comparison. The Learners Permit will have to do. I guess if I’m in the car with a licensed driver, it’s ok. To make a long story short, we drove to two separate hospitals, with full beers in hand as well as whatever other substances were on board, only to find that he was never at the first hospital and he checked himself out of the other.

RealiD…

Things are foggy from there. I think I was in and out of it a little. I vaguely remember being lifted in to the ambulance and then things really started clearing up. A police officer caught my eye as I was in my new elevation, on the heightened stretcher with my head and neck in some fucking hockey type gear. Thoughts of a procedure, me checking out, a report, the acid in my pocket, the fact there were cops hanging out to ask me and my friends a few questions after they discovered my neck really wasn’t broken. I was pretty clear now.

In the closed ambulance, on our way to the hospital, Todd at my side, I was pretty comfortable. Todd told me I didn’t have to lie anymore. He had told them I was tripping. He had to, he claimed. It was so they could do their job. I took it well. I understood. I remember answering all the EMT ladies questions accurately and even getting a laugh out of her. They liked me. Todd told me Mary Beth and Rob Calhoun (1st vocalist of one of the greatest hardcore bands of all time, Rest In Pieces (R.I.P) were behind us and following the ambulance to the hospital. I was straight at this point and actually beyond any fears about anything and really wanting a beer and a cigarette. I also felt I was basically OK and wanted to be release myself from the board, neck and head gear and I had to piss really bad. Remember, there was a Miller truck out there. The way I was strapped down and fixed to the board, to keep my head and neck straight, still did not seem like it was totally for my safety. The belts went down my whole body and over every limb restricting any action or movement. Even if I did answer all the EMT ladies questions correctly, even if they didn’t know how many hits and shrooms I had actually taken, I was getting out of this.

On the way to Vassar we were re-routed to (we can’t remember) a different hospital. I was wheeled in to a room. I think somewhere in the middle of lying as to who I was I just used my real name, yet produced no ID or insurance card. I was wheeled in to my room where, to give you the short of it, I was still in some hockey gear all around the neck and head, still strapped to a board all the way down and did not have my hands or legs free to move or do anything, and I had to piss so bad at this point. They also took all my silver jewelry, as it would heat up real good during the x-ray and CAT scan I was waiting for, as well as a fucking doctor, and a pisser.

Minutes later feeling more like a prisoner I starting yelling to people. Nurses, doctors, anyone who walked past. Todd, Mary Beth, Rob and I were all yelling back and forth from the waiting room. I was pissed but there were a few laughs in between and a few visits from each of them. Slowly we got more comfortable in the joint and Mary, Todd and Rob all came in and joined me. We were all bombed. At wits end and sick of being a prisoner we starting really harassing people. Todd tracked an Indian Doctor down, whose accent we all had a lot of fun with later. He said it would not be long and that they needed to do the x-ray. They had to do the x-ray. “You get x-ray.” Next time he came it was a little more heated. Rob and Mary went to get some beer at this point. Rob was as bored as I would have been had it been him laying there yelling at doctors, nurses and anyone he saw walk by. It just wasn’t funny anymore. I was still tied down like Gulliver and had to piss like the McKenzie Brothers. Well it was a little funny.

Todd and I got the Indian doctor in there again and I was done. Todd had found the patients bill of rights by this time. Todd held up the pamphlet while I pointed from the belts. I showed him where it stated I could sign a release and leave. He argued for the x-ray. I told him I am not staying. Get the fucking form. I am signing the fuck out of here right now!

Todd and I started on the belts and gear I was still in. Upon pulling the hockey head-set off Todd noticed a tennis ball size welt where my neck meets my head behind my right ear. Apparently, I had suffered an injury of some sort. I was almost free. I would be free again soon.

I ran to the toilet to piss and one look in the mirror I realized why they had kept me belted down and why they thought I better get the CAT Scan and x-ray. I was wearing a black tank top, now ripped, camouflage army pant cut offs, and those old man shoes from china town. Nah, not the slip-ons, the ones with laces. Oh yeah, and I also had mud all over me with dried blood all around my lips. I had dried blood on my scalp from a scratch and my pupils were non-existent making the whites of my eyes seem huge. I knew why no one wanted to deal with me or accept the responsibility of letting me leave. After a good long piss I was shocked that more harm had not come to me, or anyone else
.
Todd and I waited another minute for the doctor and the form. I signed the form, made some pissed off “thanks for nothing” type remark and left.

Finally back in the comfort of my friends I had a cigarette and a beer. That was good planning of me and Rob while I was still tied down. We knew this moment would finally arrive.

Todd: “Dave how you feeling, you aiight?” Dave: “Yeah let me get a shower then lets go to the bar.” On the way up my back stairs I realized I never got my jewelry back, which they took off for a test I never got. To give finality to one part of the nightmare let me get to this quick. I tracked the stuff with the hospital and you know; it never turned up. Payback for my sins. You’re gonna get yours!

I grabbed a shower, had a few shots of some kiwi grapefruit MD20/20 and headed to P&Gs. I needed a drink.

This is where the story turns into other stories and we all start to realize we were not the only crew of ‘tripping our faces off drunks’ on adventures in hospitals.

P&Gs (Pigs), The bar):

We got our usual seats, just to the left of the bar. Immediately, my friend Kuhl says, ”what the fuck happened? Everyone said you broke your neck or some shit? Some people are looking for you. You ok?”

Dave: “Yeah. Yo, let me get a Jim Beam on the Rocks.”

Apparently, friends were driving each other’s cars around, depending on who was in better shape, to drive to all the hospitals in the area. But this is not Brooklyn, these are country roads and interstates where it could be several miles between each hospital. Everyone who saw that awesome, HARDCORE, dive really thought I was dead and wer going to be feeling it for the rest of their lives, or at least that night.

My friend Tim asked me how I was doing and that everyone was worried and upset. Was I OK? Yeah, after the 8 or 10 Jim Beams I had consumed by now.

Dominicanedge…

Hours later we arrive back in town and decide to go to P&G’s. The place is jammed, and who do I see, clear as day sitting right in his usual spot… Dave.

RealiD…

It went on from there. People punching me like what the fuck dude? We thought you were dead. You been here drinking the whole time? Yeah I have been here drinking the whole time and thanks for all the love and attention, but know this mutha-fuckers, if it was you, I would have been here a whole lot earlier.

And I don’t know who is still with me, but did everyone forget about the few hits I still had left in my pocket? We took those that night as well.

RealiD…

Fast-forward 9 years later…

In 1999, I had a chance to bring it up to Dickie, as I knew he had shouted a song out to me that lovely day and that he was a little upset about what had happened. Dickie and I were driving around downtown St. Louis on another otherwise gray day in Gods country when I brought it up. I really caught him. As I set it up he did not know where I was going with it and then I watched the whole scene from Lembo Lake hit him hard. I don’t think he had thought about it in awhile and there were many parties they played in New Paltz and at colleges all over the country. And with the information I delved deep into my brain to reproduce he began to see the picture. He was like, ”Dude…….you are kidding me right?” I don’t want to quote Dicky wrongly, so I will summarize the rest. He said something to the effect that “that’s fucking insane. That was a great party but a crazy day. I am glad you and that kid from that day were/are all right. That’s crazy that that was you.”